Ghosts of Rainbows

We’ve all heard the tired cliche’ “Every storm is followed by a rainbow”. And it’s a cute thing to say I suppose. It’s the sort of things we tell our kids when they’re having a rough day. Deep down though, how do we really feel about it?

With all the changes going on in America, it’s no wonder things are a mess. People are tired and cranky, and the last thing we need is one more damn thing to deal with after work. Add in everything else each one of us is silently struggling with, and you have the recipe for the perfect storm. Although, I’d say it’s more of a Tsunami wouldn’t you?

The best thing we can do for ourselves right now is to hold on to what makes us happy. It can be really easy to say something we regret or break something we cannot replace. The bigger picture is in focus, and I’m coming for it.


Life’s a Bitch

The World Health Organization claims that 350 Million people worldwide suffer from depression. Many of those millions find everyday tasks to be debilitating. Simple things such as cooking a meal, or going to work, can put a great deal of stress on an individual.

I know it has been an unforgivably long time since I’ve posted. There’s been a whirlwind of sorts fogging my mind and weighing me down. Somewhere on the front lines, my reserves kicked in, but now I’m just weary. Life has a funny way of kicking us while we’re down.

I write this, from very close to my rock bottom. I will save that story for another time, as I do feel compelled to pen it, just not at this present time. This particular post is a voice. It’s not as much a cry for help as it is a warrior’s cry: one of triumph. Though today feels defeated, tomorrow comes, and with it, the promise of a new day. Where the light shines, we find life, and where no light falls, it is up to us to illuminate the way.

You don’t know until it’s too late.

I love living in a small town in rural Kansas. Maybe I’m crazy, but it feels welcome here. Everything I need is a short drive down the road, and the weather is fantastic. You might believe that last line, but not if you’re from the Midwest. The weather is a special kind of stupid here. This is our third day of Tornado Watches splashed across my TV screen.

Why can’t tornadoes ask if we want them around. Of course we’d say no. They’re pretty inconsiderate. Watching my windows getting pounded by hail and tree branches has really taught me about life. Like homeowner’s insurance is a good thing to have and can calm anxiety significantly. I’ve also learned that cats get super hateful during storms. They also want to cuddle, despite the fact that all they really wanna do is claw your face off. Also, haunted houses in thunderstorms basically suck.

But obviously the most important thing here, is that I have 5 cans of ice cold PBR left.

It’s the small things

In life, there are few things that are “set in stone”; the older you get, the more few and far between these defined select few things we’ll come across in our lives that remain unchanged. The world is full of challenges and trials, so many at times, that it may be hard to focus on what’s in front of us. Our families, or friends, our whole lives. It seems like the walls are spinning, and there’s nothing you can do to hold on. Your days of “going with the flow” are long gone. You’re done. That’s it.

Remember that moment. Because that place: that dark place, is where changes happen. When you’ve had too much. When you’re at your rock bottom.

You can only go up from there.

A little heart

While we all get drunk and glutton on carbs and beef, and random meat odds and ends in tube shapes, we need to grasp when Memorial Day is all about, our soldiers who have faught so hard for our right to do that. Maybe we don’t all believe in the war and maybe we don’t all believe in the same things and maybe we don’t even have the same belief on war and that’s okay! Some one died for your right to believe that. More and more keep dying for your right, to say and think whatever you want. So I ask all of my friends both new and old, to think of those who die everyday, for your right to eat that hotdog. Have a safe and happy Memorial Day.

finding myself

As I get older, I find myself in a quandary. I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to work hard and make money, and wanting to stay youthful and party. I recently relocated to Baltimore Maryland (yes, the place with the riots) and the big city life has left me energized and ready to tackle everything! The prospects in a place this big are endless! I find myself often wondering what to do. I have a job now, i was here a little over a week before I found one, and having some cash is a welcome change.

Being in the city though, I’ve started to “find myself”. Now, it could be because I’m almost 28, and overdue for a revelation…and I welcome that as a possibility. But, it could also be attributed to the cities vibrancy, and energy. Whatever the cause, I find myself surprisingly welcomed and not at all as lost as I thought I would be.

A Revelation in Fairy Tales

All of this moving around has been crazy, and since we spent most of our time not knowing if we would be able to return any books borrowed, I’ve shied away from libraries. However, we are somewhat more stable now and a few days ago I ventured into our public library. It’s been my desire for several months now, to find a few good books on mythological creatures. I am fascinated more by the possibility of their existence than anything else, so I had a specific niche in mind. I wanted to find books that would aid me in proving that fairies, unicorns, vampires and trolls existed. Sure, I love all mythological creatures, but these four are my main focus. I just finished an amazing book on the Little People, some times called fae, that has made me want to communicate with a fairy. I know, I know, “fairies don’t exist”. But, what if they do? Just cause you have never seen one doesn’t mean that they aren’t out there. The possibility is intoxicating to me. Maybe all we need to do is believe. Do you?