Finding the Light

English: Withering branches of a dying oak A s...

English: Withering branches of a dying oak A sickly specimen which has managed to produce just a few leaves. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


With Thanksgiving around the corner, we are reminded of what we have in life and what we should be thankful for. Our past, present and future somehow meld together in our minds forcing us to see the bigger picture in all things. To stop and smell the roses if you will.


These days can be a little bittersweet; for me at least. This is a time of dying and renewing. The trees are shedding their leaves resulting in a fantastic display of colors. I need to be reminded of the beauty in the death sometimes. When all I see around me is coldness, blackness and emptiness, there’s still beauty in it to be discovered. The leaves are dying yes, but as steady as they trickle down, I can take comfort that they will grow again in the Spring.


Things look bleak for a season, but with all death is life again. The trees have no remorse or ill thoughts towards the leaves for leaving. They know and trust, as I must, that one day all will be right in their world.


It’s hard sometimes to deal with changes, especially when there’s so much that we can’t understand. When everything around you is crumbling, what leg do you stand on? When there’s no support and every where you look all there is to see for miles is backs that have turned, and ears that are deaf to your cries, it’s kind of hard to find hope.


People always think of me as the strong one. The one everyone turns to when they have problems. It’s funny to me how when I need a shoulder on which to lean, there’s not a soul in sight that’s willing to help bear my cross. It’s up to me to find my own way.


This season, I vow to be thankful. I promise to take in every moment, and seize every opportunity to love myself and enjoy the hell out of everything. I promise myself, that this year, what’s left of it, will be amazing! With pain and torment comes a light at the end of the tunnel; I vow to find my light or die trying.


This is what I have to be thankful for.





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